June Wedding

Every time I attend a wedding I feel like I have to incorporate some of its good points on my own in the future or to have one already. But it's a real treat to be honest. Weddings are great venues to feel in love again. Both the couple give compliments and share promises to each other, a pledge if you would say. And to see my friend just overflowing with love and happiness, it's so lovely to see. And of course the groom feeling the same way, that's a plus!   

The venue was so sleek and there was a live acapella band just in the hall while they were fixing the reception after the ceremony and with so tasty sweets (you can't get enough of!) I think this is my favorite part of all. The sweets plus the band! Perfect!

50 years in marriage!

The weekend was so much fun. We got to attend the 50th Wedding Anniversary of my auntie and uncle in Hapitanan Beach in Initao, Misamis Oriental. 50 years of being together! Talk about strong bond and friendship in such a long time and being married at that. Kudos!  

I didn't really meant for us to look like the BLUE TEAM but seeing the pictures now, I think we might have been in a color coded scheme that time. Still cool though I guess.

I think that apart from the extravagant occasion, what I loved the most is seeing cousins and relatives that I have not seen in years! I love keeping in touch again and it was just a nice moment. Loved it!

That's my auntie and uncle in 50 years of marriage! Keeping the sweetness alive!

Marriage: getting into the mood!

Hi fellow bloggers and young at heart! It feels like forever since I wrote in this little blog of mine. I have't been anything into new lately, I guess I just had to reinvent myself or maybe cool off from the world of blogging. I needed some time to take all in, everything. 

So, from my last post, I mentioned that me and my boyfriend are finally taking a leap of faith of getting married. It is true what they say, you actually get excited. I thought this would be just one of those moments where you affix your signature somewhere and be over with. But I am feeling thrilled as a matter of fact. I think that even though we have been together for five years, two of that is having a kid, it is still quite exciting to be really married to the person you want in your life. To feel as if both of you are finally making it known to the entire world that you belong with each other. It's so fun and so overwhelming at some point. It's all good.

We attended this pre-marital seminar as one of the prerequisites of getting a marriage license here in Cagayan de Oro and I mean I expected it to be boring and you know just for the sake of getting the paper work done. But to my surprise it was all funny and really practical for soon to be couples. Yes, we talked about sex and the works. I guess the contradicting point I learned from that seminar is that the resource person told us "Salig pero ayaw dahum" which means trust but don't expect. Seriously? You can't tell me that! 

But really how can you trust without expecting the other person to do the same? I really don't know. For me, it feels really off like no matter what angle I consider it or think about it, I don't get the whole point, do you? Maybe in time I will understand it. But for now, I told my boyfriend and we made a pact to trust and expect that each of us will do the same. I'm crossing my fingers on this one. But you know, I think I just have to trust him, otherwise I'll go insane! 

Anyway, this article really helped me in going through my relationship with my boyfriend and soon my husband! Nevertheless, I have a good feeling of this one. It just feels right.

EPIC!

Today was a start of something new. I dived in!

To give you a little background of what I am talking about, the past days I have been bugging myself on what to do with the rest of my life. I know, it doesn't sound really trivial but since I quit my 8-5 job at a government office and pursued online work to be with my kid more, it has come to my senses that everything is quite scattered all over. I have a kid and a "boyfriend" since we are not married and it's just I don't know where we are going. To put simply, I am confused, between two paths, at a crossing point whatever you call it. And just out of the blue last week, I came to my right mind. 

I watched the TV show The Next Great Baker on Travel and Living.  In this episode, they were about to eliminate one contestant. But then this woman, when she was about to be eliminated, told bluntly that the judge was wrong and she objected. Guess, what? She stayed! The other one who was supposed to be safe was sent home. I said to myself, that's the power! I mean to be told that you will be eliminated from the competition but objecting the decision because she said she had passion and she was what they needed, that was just finesse. I mean seriously, that is just an exemplary of taking matters in your own hands and making your own destiny. It was classic!

I said to myself I wanted to be that. I wanted to take control over my life and just have the power for once. For so many times and so many instances I have been the one to wait. Wait for the right moment to come, wait for the Universe to conspire, wait for the perfect time and wait for other people and let things happen naturally. I have nothing against that of course but there has to be a certain period where you have to stand up and decide for yourself and where you want to be exactly in your life (even to the point where I have to swallow my pride). 

Me and my partner have invested 5 years in the relationship in total. When we had a baby less than two years ago, getting married was something I had to think over and over. I had to make sure that he was right for me and he is committed. I did not want to make a mistake of marrying him and finding out he is not completely in it with me. I thought it was reasonable at the early stage. And true enough, all this time, he has been faithful and committed, hands down. But now that our kid is growing and it seems like we are indeed a family, I feel like it is time to move with the cheese and do the right thing, get married.

For days, weeks and months, I always reminded him of that need. I told him it would be necessary for papers to be legalized, etc. And of course, he responded with a nod. He agreed with me. But the thing is, nothing is happening! I would sit down and reflect in a defensive and rightful manner, I am the girl after all, I should be pursued. Then it hit me. I really don't care! I want this whole thing done and over with so we can move on the next chapter of our lives. That's what I want. It has not appeared clearer to me that day. It was out of the bubble that I got that strength and courage to tell him exactly what I wanted and how I wanted it to be. Imagine, I told him I did not care if he was scared or not ready or whatever, I wanted marriage! I was that fixed.

Of course, he was like, what? In his own defensive way. He felt like I was attacking him. Looking back at what I did now, I kind of laugh a little bit because he was working that day and I just came at his work and said those words like something weird happened. But when he realized I was serious, it probably dawned on him that this was no joke and I was determined at any cost about what was going to happen between us. I said take it or leave it, and this will only happen once. For a moment, I felt desperate sort of begging this person to be with me but also on one hand, I felt I was a strong and courageous individual who is just expressing her desire with much passion and determination. 

And yes, early this morning we went to apply for a marriage license. I mean I had to really do that to pursue this thing? Huh. Talk about having the courage and bravery for this epic moment. I could not wait til my kid grows up and tell all about this EPIC MOMENT! HAHAHAHA! I can't wait!

Men and Relationships

It has taken me quite a while to express my resolutions and realizations about what I consider a thriving relationship. There is no perfect recipe for a good one only steps to make it realistic for you to understand that it's still about how you think that matters. After all, you make the decisions and choices at the end of the day.

Bradley Cooper

I am going to skip the romance portion because clearly I think everyone is very knowledgeable in that aspect. Here are my self-help so far in getting through a relationship.


1. Give yourself a break. I know that you have given yourself more than you could ever have received from anyone, but sometimes it can be too tiring to always be doing all the effort. It is nice and healthy to take a break and smell the roses once in a while. It really does give you a good dose of self-appreciation.

2. Don't expect. I know it sounds contradictory because relationships should have expected outputs and results whether it is about how you want to be treated, or how you picture your relationship with this person. I tell you, stop it right now. It doesn't work that way. The truth is, expectations will just hurt you. You can hope but not expect.

3. Don't assume. Just because he doesn't give you flowers, doesn't mean that he loves you less. It's just the way he is and he might express it in another ways. Figure  it out. Nor giving you flowers would guarantee his love for you. Again, it depends on how you know the person enough.

4. He is not going to change, even for you. He is going to change for himself and slowly. If you found him as the jealous type or sexually inferior then don't think he will mysteriously transform to the way you want him to be. Men stick to what they know and rarely modifies it.

5. What's with men and cars? Trust me. Deal with it. The two are simply inseparable.

Isn't she gorgeous?

6. Relationships are not steady. Even old couples hit rock bottom for things they don't agree on. Relationships require work. I don't mean that you spend huge dollars for gifts or anything like that but spend time to talk, even pillow talk is necessary! It's those silly things you share that are most important to keep your communication line open.

7. You must have topics that you disagree on or it can be too boring. Whether you make it a point that you oppose his ideas or not, it's essential that you are mentally challenging each other. It's like a debate but you get reward later, a soothing back rub would be nice from the losing party.

8. Respect is key. I have always said over and over that you may fall out of love in relationships, and that's somewhat normal for some couples. But, to lose respect is the worst kind of insult. Respect is what you show when you want only the best for the other person.

9. You can still admire other people of the opposite sex. I don't believe that you should solely set your eyes to the one you love. You should look around and see the beauty of other people and admire their character. That's fine. It's just admiration anyway. It doesn't hurt to go outside your bubble every now and then. It could even help you realize what you have.

10. Have one hobby or activity that is separate from your partner's. It's one good way to mingle with other people and discover new things. This way, you have another venue to explore your interest and develop your mind. This could also be a path to new topic in the round table when dinner comes.

Preserving and making a relationship work is also like improving yourself. You don't love yourself if you remain to be who you are five years back. In order to appreciate yourself, you must constantly learn new things, unlock skills or talents. Same way as in relationship, both partners must always be changing so that there is something interesting to tackle. It keeps the interest and admiration on high sky!